Wednesday, December 3, 2008

The FOX I married almost 4 years ago.

I realize this is quite a long post, but if you're interested in learning more about Tatwood, read on...I guarantee you entertainment.

'Twas nearly 4 years ago when Mr. Atwood and myself gazed across the alter into each others' eyes and said I do.

About to barf? Would you rather laugh? Ok, then I'll tell you a few things about Tat you may very likely not know.

Brace yourself...

-The man has worms. Literally... red composting wigglers to be exact.
-After informing me he had worms at our second meeting, he then said, "You're abnormally white."
-He "strongly suggested" I not use our dishwasher our first few months of marriage because it cost nearly 35 cents to run it every time.
-The man mysteriously slept (next to my screaming and moaning side) through the gruesome process of pitocin-ridden contractions as I was in labor, and then mysteriously woke the VERY SECOND I got the epidural.
-Tat loves Santa Clara City spring clean-up and fully takes advantage of other people's junk. Around April, I always find new treasures in our garage or backyard.
-Did you see the post about what to do and what not to do with a baby? Well, again, I know our friends were inspired to give us that book b/c Tat suggested we save $ on a crib and just use an old apple crate. Was he kidding? Likely. Do you kid about something like that with an extremely hormonal fat woman about to expel a human being from her body? No.
-Tat is musically challenged...he can carry a lovely note, but he is so far distanced from the music industry. He couldn't name 1 song sung by the Beatles until about 5 years ago. He thought Fergie's name was Fer-gee.
-The only cd's the man owns are the instruction manual to his old Jeep and Dances with Wolves Soundtrack. Oh yes, and Enya.
-I had a cyst on my back. He kept telling me he was going to surgically remove it with his pocket knife. I finally made an appt to have it removed b/c I realized he was totally serious. After the surgery, he tried to talk me into letting him remove the stitches.
-He forgot my wedding ring at our wedding. Seriously, in the temple when it was time to exchange rings, he didn't have one for me. It was left in the locker. I walked out of the temple with no ring.
-The hotty believes that there is a written rule somewhere stating that showering and brushing teeth are optional on Saturdays and Holidays.
-Mr. Atwood has been known to make phone calls to phone companies, receive the 23 cents back on his bill he was wrongly charged. When I say, "23 cents isn't worth the hassle to me." He replies, "it's all about principle, baby, all about principle."
-He has watched EVERY episode of Little People Big World.
-He felt it was his civic duty to direct traffic on Lombard Street in San Francisco when the traffic cop was doing a lousy job. Here's the proof...Tyler Seizes Lombard
-The man LOVES timeshare presentations and of course we sit through them, multiple times, when we travel.

HOWEVER...the same Tyler you just read about:

-Took me to Tahiti on our Honeymoon (Moorea & Bora Bora)
-Wrote Avy the most beautiful letter before she was born telling her how much he already loved her and how blessed he was to be her father. When it was read at my baby shower, there wasn't a dry eye in the place.
-He took me to Monterey to my favorite restaurant on our first date.
-The man rubbed my feet almost every day for the last trimester of pregnancy.
-When we returned from a vacation one year, he had arranged for a couple dozen roses and lillies to be placed throughout the house.
-When we were dating and I had finals in school, he was my secret admirer and left me good luck notes and goodies every day. I was thouroughly convinced it was a weirdy from my ward that was stalking me, but was thrilled to find out it was him.
-He let me sleep in a couple extra hours EVERY MORNING during my sleep deprived days of early motherhood.
-He researched and searched and found the perfect diamond for my ring...not just any ol' diamond was good enough for his woman.
-He gives so selflessly of his time to his calling and the people he is responsible for.
-Avy's first couple words were "Dada" and "ball" obviously both as tributes to her father for how much she loves him.
-The man bought me cast iron skillets because he didn't like the thought of us eating toxins from our old non-stick pans.
-When Avy was born, he had no words (not because he was sleeping...he was up by this point) but just held her and sweetly cried. It was the most precious thing I have ever witnessed - so sweet in fact my eyes are watering thinking about it.
-When I graduated college, he took me into a jewelry store and said, "Have at it. Here's your budget, you can spend it on whatever you want in this store. Happy Graduation."
-He pretty much leads his softball team to victory every week. Mr. Home Run would be a good nick name for him if the name "Tat" didn't exist.
-And last, but not least, underneath that tough ex-quaterback exterior, Tat melts and gives in to my every wish and desire when I beg hard enough.

If I had a glass of champagne and I drank champagne, I'd raise it now and say, "To Tyler! The man with worms who keeps me laughing and makes me happier than I ever knew was possible!"

Enjoy some pics of the fella we call Tat.

I realize this picture warrants an explanation: when we were dating, I walked into his apt one day and found him in this freakish get-up. He was trying on his new camo for his big hunting trip with his buddy...or so he said. I think he was just testing me to see how much I could handle. For some reason, rather than calling the cops and running from creeps-ville central, I just laughed long and hard.


hteuscher said...

Awww! We love Tyler!!! Happy Anniversary!

Ashley said...

That was so funny and sweet! Little People Big World is great. How on earth did he figure out how much it cost to run the dishwasher? That reminds me of a couple I once knew who only flushed the toilet when absolutely necessary (no further explanation needed I hope) in order to save a few bucks.

Jen said...

I loved reading about your hubby, Hayley -- the quirks and the tear-jerkers. Yes, you brought a little tear to my eye with the line about him holding Avy after she was born. . . He helped make a darn cute kid too, speaking of Avy. :)

The Bock Family said...

Way fun to read about. I obviously don't know your husband and it was great to get a little tid bit into your life. So cute!

Alie said...

SOOO FUNNY! We have very similar husbands Hayley...

The Mostess said...

It's a good thing he did all those nice things in column 2 to make up for all of the, uh, questionable things in column 1!!

Dances with Wolves?? Really?? Next year I'm scrapping the ice-cream gift certificates and getting him some real music. Even his worms know Enya SUCKS!!! ;)

Jenni said...

If Tat is so great, then why does he schedule the EQP temple trip on on Thursday night? He knows that The Office and 30 Rock are on.

Jennikunz said...

I am still laughing from the youtube video! OH MY CRAZY! ANd you ARE abnormally white.

Benson and Jaimi said...

I'll never forget the first time I saw Tyler's compost bin with the worms. Who does that? Better question: how much do you save on compost each year? I'm sure Tyler knows.

I agree that Tyler definitely gives his time to help others. He single-handedly moved us into our cottage. I still feel bad about that.

Happy Anniversary guys!

Love, Ben

Smith Family said...

Great post. Tyler, Evan wants to know how financially sound the whole jewelry store trip was and how long did that set you back for your planned retirement.I thought it was very romantic. Evan should do that because I am bearing his second child.