Saturday, February 28, 2009

Cross-Cultural Communication

So let me preface...
One of the perks about having a beaming red-head child is the attention I get. We refer to Avykins as our Celebrity Baby. Since she's been born, she has ALWAYS drawn a crowd thanks to the stunning locks of beauty on top o' thee head.
I mean obviously, look at her:

So today we were hiking and on the way back down the hill I get stopped by an elderly English fella. He says to me, in a very thick English accent, very...v..e..r..y...slowly and in a very low tone:

"Where... did you make... such a beautiful... little doll?
Holy Smokes!"

My immediate response, because I live the life of an open book and am willing to share truth in all things was to start telling the inquisitive Old Pip about the fateful day in December of 2006, but then I quickly realized I may be encountering a moment of intercultural miscommunication.

So instead I just smiled and said, "Oh. Yes, thanks. She is beautiful."

And went on my merry way.

I guess that BA in Communication Studies finally did come in handy.
Thanks be to Dr. Wenshu Lee for saving me from a possibly awkward, never to recover from moment.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

The Tale of Tat's Toe

If you know the story of Tat's toe fungi, feel free to skip this post. If not, here's some good entertainment for you, courtesy of Tyler A.

So he's had some nasty toe fungus going on for as long as I can remember. I finally talked him into going to the Doc & having the MD check it out and cure the nastiness.

Tat goes to the Dr. He discusses his toenail fungus.

This is what physician reports:
"To cure this you will need this special medicine. It costs about $750. And no, insurance doesn't cover it."

So of course Tat comes home with his toenail in tact & no medicine to cure it.

Later that evening:
It's time for bed and I walk into the bathroom to bid Tyler adieu. What do I find as I enter the room?
Here's the scene:
Tat has his left foot up on the counter. He's looking a little woozy and pale.
He is digging into his toe with the COMPLETELY-UNSANITARY-OLD-RUSTY toenail clipper dagger, with blood running all over the counter. Oh yes, and his toenail is half-off. It is now completely removed.

You can imagine my disgust. When I ask if he's lost his mind, his response was something to the effect of, "I'm not paying $750 for medicine when I can solve the problem for free."

Awesome, hun. Awesome.

My friend Kaari emailed me this pic of a cake she found on-line and titled it "Tat's next cake."
Anyone want a slice? I call the big yellow toe.

Anyone who sees no difference between the male & female species can come spend 1 day at the Atwood ranch.......I guarantee your opinion shall change.

Friday, February 13, 2009

What the world, needs now.......Part 2 LOVE, sweet Love. And Avy has been feeling it.

Today was one big Heart Day fest for Little Red.

Exhibit A:
She hosted a little V-Day party for her playgroup today.
There was cookie decorating, lots of sugar eating, & of course the creation of beautiful Valentine's.

Exhibit B:
Avy's friends threw a Little Cupid Valentine Party. So Cute!
She made Valentine's for all her little people.
Carefully packed them in a transporting vessel.
Decorated a drop box for all her collectibles.
Traded goods with her friends.
Ate goods from her friends.
And found time to pose for a quick pic with Mom.

Way to share the Love, Avykins. Way to share the Love.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Disneyland??? Ever heard of it?

So I'm pretty patient when it comes to dealing with incompetence.

Afterall, I am the one who used to pull up into my neighbors driveway when I was pregnant, thinking it was mine.
I've been known to miss a joke or two.
I shot a hole in the back of my father-in-law's truck trailer - oopsie!
And I never knew what "AKA" stood for until about 2 years ago when my little sister told me.
Thus, I understand we all have our hair-brained moments of life.


I've NEVER encountered a more ridiculous conversation than I had today;
with a TRAVEL AGENT nonetheless.

It went a little something like this:

ME: Hi, I'd like to see what resorts are available near Disneyland in the middle of March. My dates are flexible.

LADY: Where would you like to check?

ME (thinking she just misunderstood me): Oh, Disneyland.

LADY: Mam, is that on the East Coast, West Coast? Or in the North or South?

ME: Umm, Disneyland? That'd be the West Coast.

LADY: Could you be more specific of where you'd like me to check.

ME (finding this very entertaining): Oh, yeah, how about Anaheim in Southern California.

LADY: Is that on the East or West of California?

ME (thinking I should call 911 right about now to go check and see if this lady has a pulse): Oh, yeah, that would be on the West Coast of Southern California.

LADY: And can you be more specific of where you would like to go on the West Coast in California?

What are we not understanding here???

LADY: Well I see nothing available anywhere near there.
Would you like me to see if there's availability near Disneyworld in Florida?

Am I missing something here?
Please tell me I'm not the one with the problem.

PS- Please tell me you've heard of Disneyland and you know who these 2 characters are???


Monday, February 9, 2009

What the world, needs now... Love, sweet love.

So I consider myself a gift to Mother Earth since Tat and I hosted a Valentine's Party this past weekend.

I'll just sum up the fun by quoting the oldies but goodies, the Vengaboys, "We like to party. We like, we like to party." Okay, maybe they weren't goodies.

Regardless, here was the rip-roaring night:

First thing First----FOOD!

The Flowers:
My first Calla Lillies of the season sacrificed themselves all in the name of Love.

The hanging decor.
Paper lanterns a la Michales for 1 Buck! Holla.

First game of the night, the Ever-Popular White Elephant.
Here were a few of the hot items up for trade this year:
Look at the smile on TK's face. He must secretly be an Eddie Lover.

SG wanted this little number so badly he did the ol' switch-er-oo to get his hands on it.
(I love that KJ is posing in between Spidey & Steve)

And I'm STILL baffled why nobody stole these SWEETNESS jammers!
It's all about the 1-piece, baby.

Had I had the chance, I'd have stolen these shirts. I would TOTALLY wear the one Jenni is modeling. Wouldn't you?

Next game of the night:
I had all the Lady-folk give me some info on their husbands pre-party and came up with a game using the info. The winner's of the "It's All About the Men" game.....The Parkes Team.

Yes, Erin was also the winner at KJ's Cookie Swap in December. Her husband informed her she better stop winning or else she won't be getting invitations anywhere. Not true, Erin...we love you. However, keep one eye on your towels at all times.....there are some pretty competitive people around these parts....I'm just saying.

The winning prize:

(And a shout-out to my talented Mother-in-Law for embroidering these hot little numbers...Thanks!)

And there was a 3-way tie for second place in the "All About the Men" Game.
So to fairly distribute the runner-up prize (the dotted dish-towel, oven mit, & heart measuring spoons), the 3 men had 10 minutes to write a 4-lined Love Poem to their wife.
Here were the 3 contestants as they professed their undying love:

And here are the 3 wives as they swooned:

The winning Love Poem went to BP...and it's a good thing he redeemed himself.
The first year we hosted our annual V-Day Party the men had to write poems & let's just say BP won the prize for the most Lame. Really, he did.

And last, but not least, who could forget the After-Party?

KJ & HT stayed to sing praises to NKOTB & help remove tape from the ceiling by jumping in stilettos.
I'm sure Tat was thinking to himself...How many blondes does it take to rip down the decorations? At that point Tat closed up the party by quoting Semisonic, "Closing time. You don't have to go home, but you can't..."

I know I'll take some heat from these 2 for posting this pic, but don't worry----I can take 'em.