SLEEP

Give me a few good hours of it & then I'll post everything you ever wanted to know about the tantalizing likes of topics such as:

First Day of Preschool

-did she puke?  pass out?  wave goodbye without a care?

My Birthday

-how old am I?  how did I celebrate?  was there a gift involved?

The long-awaited Pirate Party

-what did we eat?  what was the entertainment?  was Avy pleased?  do I have the coolest siblings EVER?

My Stolen iPod
-who dun it?  no...really, show yourself.  seriously.  who took my iPod?

Hawaii

-what were the highlights?  did I get a massage?  did Tat accidentally order an alcoholic bevvie this time?

Mostly for the Grandparents

-what are the latest & greatest tricks of the tatwood babies? does buddy refuse to sit in a shopping cart anymore?  does Avy patrol the preschool playground looking for toddler hotties?

My Spray Tan

-did I look hot?  did I freak out in the booth & stick my face in front of the sprayer?  did my culturally-aware daughter Avy tell me, "Mom, it's okay when people have different colors of skin"???

I must stink

-why do my friends keep moving? 

Tatty's Hospital Visit

-it may or may not have been until 4am the night before, er, morning of, the Pirate Party?  why was he there?  was his wife sympathetic? 

Trust me folks...you'll be wanting to tune back in pretty soon.

But until then,

I'm going to sleep.

XO,

hayley

Maybe I'm a moron.

*For the record, I generally abstain from stories about my kids' bowel habits.  No one cares, I know.  But for today I'm breaking my own rule.  I'm not offended if you don't care.*

I used to think that any parent whose child ate their own poop was a moron. 

When I'd hear these sorts of stories, I'd put on my best acting face, tilt my head, nod sympathetically...

but really what I was thinking was:

Are you stupid?

Have you no control over your child?

Poops come out one end, the mouth is at the other. 

How could you not have prevented that?

I'm ashamed to say this beautiful being is a poop-eater:

Which makes this crazy lady a moron:

The kid has serious twisty-bendy-roll-aroundy skillz when it comes to diaper changing.

Here's the play by play:

1- I smelled something needing attention

2- I lay him on the floor, assuming the position of a diaper change

3- Remove said diaper

4- As with every other diaper change, Buddy's hand immediately heads down south to make sure all boy goods are still in tact

This is where all of my control is relenquished

5- With my cat-like reflexes and speed I grab his hand so fast to wipe it off

6- He freaks & shoves his heel into the open diaper

7- I grab another wipe to quickly cleanse the left heel, but his heel is too fast & smears goodness all over my pants

8- Then repeat step 7 with right heel, but this time it went all over the carpet (chill out tatty, I cleaned it up appropriately)

9- By now he has 2 hands checking in on his manhood & left hand goes right up to his face...& you can imagine the rest.

I really, really tried to not let that happen.

I apologize to anyone who ever told me their story while I silently gave you the "Bad Parent Award" in my head.

A is for applesauce.

What a fab summer it's been.  But we'll post about that later. 

This post is about how much I love Fall time.

I was bit by the bug a couple days ago when my neighbor gave me a ton of apples & told me to make some applesauce.

The smell of cooked apples is Heaven.

  And then throw a little sugar & cinnamon in the air & I can die happy.

Never made applesauce?

It's as easy as this:

1- wash & cut apples into quarters

2- throw them in boiling water for a few minutes until softy-soft

3- drain them then mash them as you'd like

(my neighbor gave me this old colander thingy to mush the apples with, but i've read that a masher works just as well)

4- toss in some sugar & cinnamon

5- hire Buddy for clean-up duty

Here's to Autumn!

A first time for everything...

Many firsts for the Atwoodians this past week.

Avy:

Attended her first rock concert.

True dat...you heard me right.

(Well, technically I guess her first celeb sightings would go to the several Bob the Builder shows she saw at Gilroy Gardens in the month of July.)

The Wiggles were in town, folks. 

 & once again, my awesome friend Crystal who always hooks me up pulled through when she called me & asked me how many free tickets I wanted.

For those who aren't aware, Avy has a strange, yet endearing, obsession for Captain Feathersword from the Aussie gang & often won't answer me when I call her "Avy".

"Mom, remember my name?  It's Captain Feathersword.  How did you forget that?"

And many times when she has a friend coming over, she makes me introduce her to her friend as Captain Feathersword.  When the doorbell rings, I undoubtedly hear, "Mommy, remember to tell (fill in friend's name) that I'm Captain Feathersword.

She's even so obsessed that she's been planning her Pirate Birthday party for the past 10 months.

Needless to say, we had one very, VERY happy girl Saturday.

& I'm not ashamed to admit that a little, "Hey there Shaky, Shaky" gets me up & groovin every time.

Also, for the first time, she got to eat all the pink jelly beans she could handle.

She always asks for just the pink, but alas, the box is assorted.

However, we took a trip up to the Jelly Belly Factory yesterday & she was in Heaven.

Jelly Bean Heaven.

Buddy:

Sprouted his first tooth...

& a cute little dagger it is.

Has decided that crawling is the way of the future.

He will occasionally still do the army crawl, but he can shake those little crawling buns quicker than lightening when he chooses to.

& he has discovered that standing in his crib is WAY more fun than sleeping.

Fully expecting him to be asleep this morning, I quietly tip-toed into the room to grab something only to find this inquisitive little meerkat:

Tat:

Also attended his first rock concert.

The Wiggles.

Wait, no.  I dragged him to the American Idol concert with me a couple years ago so I guess that was his first.

Actually, hold on... he did drive the Doobie Brothers around San Francisco years ago for some strange reason that I still can't figure out.

So...I guess The Wiggles wasn't a first star sighting for him either.

So maybe he's not a music man.

But that's okay.

I fully knew that going into the relationship when we were dating and I saw his CD collection:

The Dances with Wolves Soundtrack & Enya.

Oh yeah, & his Jeep Owner's Manual was on CD too, if that counts.

Also, he pet a wild fox for the first time.

Hold on, much to his chagrin, he didn't quite succeed.

(& I guess that was technically a week & a half ago)

But still.

We went camping with some friends & at night a family of foxes very boldly came to visit our site.

Tyler declared, "I will pet one of those guys before the night is over."

Weird.

Regardless, it was a great time in the beautiful Santa Cruz mountains.

Moi:

Stayed awake for an entire movie, which is something I haven't done in a REALLY long time.

I'm a tough critic.  It takes a lot to captivate me.

I dare say Inception was the best movie I've seen since What About Bob.

I'll go see it again if anyone needs a buddy.

Crazy.

Also, I was a working woman for the first time since having kids.

I used to direct elementary age plays at a private school before Avy was born & haven't done it since.

I was asked to do it for 1 class for summer school in the month of July, & since awesome sister Brookie was planning to be here for a couple months, it worked out perfectly for her to play with my tots in the morning while I taught.

The performance was Friday & my class did awesome!

I was very pleased.

More importantly, my kids LOVED spending time with Auntie B.

Today, when Linc was crying, Avy informed me,

"He just wants Auntie Brookie instead, Mom."

Can't blame him.  She's pretty cute.

Yay for a fun week of firsts!

Did you ever worry...

...that when you grew up & had kids they would be hiddeous looking?

I'm very relieved to announce that mine are actually pretty darn cute.

A few photos from the past month as evidence:
(& I think Tyler is pretty cute too, but we traveled without him.
Hence the lack of his handsome face in many of these.)

Now that I'm confident my kids don't look like gnarly trolls,
I can move on to the,
"Gee, I hope my kid doesn't grow up to be dork"
phase.

Claim to Fame

So thanks to my friend Crystal, I made not my first, but second mind you, appearance on TV.

Crystal with Avy last year:

My friend from college, Crystal, works for ABC's "The View From the Bay" & sent me an email a couple months ago asking for recipes for the show's Viewer Recipe Challenge Week.

So naturally I quickly send the email off to Lindsay b/c everything she touches, or shall I say cooks, turns to gold. Both of our recipes were chosen (disclaimer...my submission is actually from my Mother-in-law...she is an amazing cook!)! Linds went on Monday & I made my appearance this afternoon.

Go ahead & take a looksie:

Lindsay's Summer Veggie Pasta
Recipe HERE
(Lindsay comes out at about 5:07)



My (Mother-in-law's) Peaches & Cream Cheesecake
Recipe HERE
(I come out at about 7:00)


So as the video proved, Chef Nick is known as "The Kissing Chef" in the Bay Area & he couldn't keep his hands off me (not that I can blame him), but still.

And in case you never saw my star-rated debut, you can check it out here:
(Avy & I come out at about 3:25)

The T. Atwood Family in a few years.

My friend Tracy showed me this & I was R.O.L.L.I.N.G!

Word to the Swagger Wagon.

Red Rover, Red Rover, send Mr. Linc right over.

In case you don't have the pleasure of seeing Buddy on a regular basis,
it's official...

he's a red-head too.

& a cute little red-head he is.

In Honor of Earth Day...

I wore my "Love is Green" shirt.

We took a walk & enjoyed the earthy foliage.

Tat's company officially went Public today!

Hallelujah!

 & how appropriate that it was on Earth Day, seeing as how Codexis is a Green company.

Maybe now since the IPO is over we can possibly see him more than a wink a week?

This is Tat as we speak...reuniting with his TV.

We dressed up as animal's of Mother Nature.

Tat brought home a couple trees & flower packets to plant.

And this guy celebrated Mother Earth Mardi Gras style.

Then I closed up the day by driving my gas-guzzling SUV to the mall & wasting way too much $ on pants that are made of anything but cotton & have no opportunity of ever being used as anything but pants.

But chill out, I saved my shopping bags & will most definitely be reusing them,

 for my recycling items nonetheless.

I'm just getting warmed up for GLEE.

Need I remind you about Tuesday, April 13th?

As you can clearly see...I take my karaoke VERY seriously!

10 points for the one who can guess what this song is:

Happy Be-lated Easter!

We went to my friend's 3rd Annual Easter Egg Hunt & Brunch Saturday.

2008

"Life is a piece of cake with one little baby," said Tyler & Hayley.

2009

"Can't wait for her first trimester to QUICKLY BE OVER!" said Tyler.

"I am about to vomit," said Hayley.

"I dare my parents to put me down for a nap after all this candy I just consumed.

HAHAHAHA!" said Avy.

2010

"Gee I can't wait to see Clash of the Titans," said Tyler.

"I gotta change my candy-swiping tactics...Avy's on to me," said Hayley.

"I'm on to your candy-swiping tactics, Mom," said Avy.

"MILK!" said Lincoln.

If I would let her, she would eat hard-boiled eggs ALL day long.

I know, barf-o-rama!

Of course the E.B. hid some goodies.

(The creepy singing hamster was NOT part of his deliverings.

Crazy sister Whit gave that to me years ago & it's recently become a favorite around our house.

I've never heard, "Macho, Macho, Man" so much in my life.)

Easter Basket cupcakes...a Bird fam tradition.

Easter dinner with friends:

& an after Easter dinner & after Easter cupcake dance party in the rain:

What a great Easter weekend!