Monday, February 1, 2010

A few thoughts:

So as I sit here & type, my heart is aching & my eyes are soaked. 

I debated where to get all my thoughts out:

Should I write them in my old-school leather bound journal?
Should I post them on my private blog for my eyes only?
Or should I post them where others can read, reflect, & share?
I chose the latter.

Some dear friends of ours lost their darling boy this past Friday.  It was totally unexpected & as anyone can even try to imagine, very devastating.

This weekend has been one with constant tears in our home.
As I had a quiet moment this morning, I tried to make some sense out of why this has impacted me so much.

Here's what I've discovered:

1-We cry because Tyler & I love our friends dearly & are heart-broken for them.
We're sad for them.  We know they're hurting.
If what I'm feeling is only a small taste of what they're feeling, then they have the strength of a hero.
We have always thought the world of our dear friends.  We met them in the singles ward years ago & can attest that they have both always had a light around them.
A couple weeks ago Tyler was at their house watching a football game & came home & said,
"I just really, really like those 2. 
People don't get any better than that."

2- I've been crying because I'm going to miss the sweet little guy. 
What a tender, big spirit, & not to mention the most gorgeous dark eyes.
When he was over here earlier in the week, Avy insisted on feeding him goldfish.  He kept looking at her like she was crazy, but went along with her demands.
He kept wanting me to turn on Lincoln's bouncy seat music so he & Avy could dance.
& I think the best part of their playdate was when he kept trying to coax me into putting him in Avy's doll stroller.
I know Avy will miss her handsome little buddy too.

3- I've been crying because I have been noticing the other side of the Veil is so real and it's so close.  The tears for reason #3 aren't tears of sadness, but are my way of expressing how strongly I have noticed the Holy Ghost & the reality of our Heavenly Father in the past 2 days.
It's real.
This tragic experience has solidified my knowledge that Heavenly Father has big plans for us all.  It's a bummer we don't know what they are & also that we may not like them so much at first, but they're big & they'll be better than we could have imagined.
I've always been grateful for that knowledge, but the comfort that comes from it at times like this is so reassuring that things will be okay.

As my friend and I were talking yesterday, we discussed how incredibly short our time is here on Earth.
Seriously, whether it's 19 months like her perfect little son, or 90+ years like my sweet Grandma Bird, that is such a short amount of time in the grand scheme of things.

What we choose to do with that time is so important.

We hope you know the love & care that has been felt for your sweet, choice family these past few days.
You guys are truly, truly amazing.


Valerie said...

Oh Hayley that is so sad, my heart breaks for your friends. I am so glad that they have friends like you to help support them and get them through this difficult time. My thoughts and prayers are with that family. I am so thankful we have the gospel to know that indeed, families can and will be together for ever.

Ashley said...

This was a beautiful post. I loved hearing more about little C's bright personality. I have also been heartbroken this weekend. I am so grateful at a time like this to have the knowledge of a loving Heavenly Father's plan for us, but of course the pain is still so real. I hope and pray our friends are being carried through this tragedy.

Lindsay said...

Thanks so much for this post Hayley! I especially appreciate your sweet memories of Cooper and the reminder of how short this lifetime truly is. I look forward to the day that me and my little sweetheart will be together again. Isn't the promise of the Gospel beautiful?!?!

The Mostess said...

Well said. You captured my thoughts and feelings in the perfect way.

I was crying on Friday after reading the sad news, and Julia came over with the sweetest smile. Then she demanded to be fed Rubios. ;) It just reminded me to be grateful for all that we have, as long as we have it.

My heart truly aches for them. I hope they know how much they are loved and appreciated.

Kevin and Kristina said...

Thanks for your beautiful post. I can't imagine how heartbroken your friends feel right now. Even with the knowledge of the gospel that we have, there are some times when all we can do is cry. Experiences like these remind me to treasure each moment that we have. I wish I could give your friend a big hug. We will be thinking and praying for them to continue to be comforted. They sound like such a beautiful family.

The Atwood's said...

So sorry to hear about that guys! I lost one of my friends from high school this week as well and can attest to everything you have said. Our prayers are with those who are suffering.

Matt and Jessie said...

I just don't even know what to say. I am heartbroken reading this and I don't even know your friends. I will for sure keep you all in my prayers! I do think you worded things so well and it is a great reminder to me about how lucky we are for every day we get. I hope that you continue to find peace and comfort. I just love you!!