Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Broken Promises. Tsk, tsk.

Things I promised I would NEVER do as a parent.
And how easily I've broken them.

I would NEVER feed my child Dino-nuggets. I abstain from trendy, tot-marketed products & will never give in to the advertising crowd.

How many today, Avy? 3 or 4? Yes ketchup, or no ketchup?

My spawn will NEVER lose thier imaginations & creativity to the laziness of a portable DVD player. Long road trips were made for memories & quality family bonding time.

What could be more imagination building than 13 hours straight of Barney & the backyard gang?
Thank you, my dear purple dinosaur. Thank you.

My child will NEVER be one of those green-runny-nosed kids whose mother doesn't care enough to wipe their nose.

It just doesn't stop. When the tot has the runs o' the nose, there's no keeping it clean.
No matter how hard I try to teach her to use her shirt, it's a lost cause.
It's better to just let it run it's course & clean up at the end of the day.

My child will NEVER eat macaroni & cheese from a box. That nuclear, fake food just has no place in the perfect bowels of my daughter.

It's not really that bad. Cheese is dairy. Noodles are grains. Throw some canned green beans & canned peaches on the side &, well what do you know?

We've made the food guide pyramid proud!

I could NEVER think of putting the DVD on the "play continuously" mode. What kind of a horrible parent would you have to be to do such a thing?

"Avy, we have a 5 hour drive ahead of us. Would you like to watch Melanie & Barney 2 times, or would you like to watch Princess Zulee & Barney 2 times?"
Bless the play continuously option

My child will always have matching clothes & NEVER look like a rag-a-muffin.

Note the inside-out & backward-ness of the orange velour pants.

Sugary snacks are completely UNNECESSARY for my child.

There is no better bribery tool than "ponies" at our house.
& not to mention I loaded up when they were $1 a box.


Matt and Jessie said...

You are too funny!! I have a very similar list of these!!

Erin said...

Amen, Hayley, Amen!! That's all I can say.

Ashley said...

-My kids eat 5 dino nuggets at a time.
-I am on the search for a second dvd player.
-Mac & cheese is a delicacy.
-The three of us are, at this moment, sharing a bag of teddy grahams (purchased for $1, thank you) for breakfast while watching cartoons. Now Max is drinking my diet coke.

Promises schmomises!

P.S. Avy is always decked out and accessorized. I have never seen her look like a ragamuffin!

The Bock Family said...

I couldn't agree more with you. Enough said.

Meghan said...


Kristine Gray said...

Oh, and Avy always looks like a fashion statement so I wouldn't worry there.
And I feed my kids potato nuggets the other day but they had spinach in them so that's makes it ok in my book.

Johnson Family said...

Ha ha so funny! How true is that!

Jennikunz said...

Love it.

The Mostess said...

I object to the Barney, and 1/2 object to the orange velour pants.

Meh, let the rest go. You are a fab mom...except for the Barney bit.

My blanket lies over the ocean...my blanket lies over the sea...

abby bennett said...

Welcome to the world of non-judgement and basic survival. It is amazing how quickly we all cave. :)

MB Newson said...

Well i still wipe my nose on my shirt. I guess I can thank my mom for teaching me that. Maybe Avy needs a little more time to figure it out. hahaa
Oh, and if you add some wholesome hotdogs to mac-n-cheese dinner, well now doesn't that pretty much complete the food pyramid? hello meat group!