Tuesday, May 5, 2009

my 1 & only annoying pregnancy post

First & foremost, thanks to all the well-wishers out there!
I really appreciate your congratulations. Yes, it's exciting.
So I don't want to be the lady that whines for 9 months about harvesting
a human inside my uterus.
That's just not me.

In fact, I really enjoy pregnancy.
But in the throes of barf-hood, I have a few words to say.
Ever watch TLC?
Well there's this show called
I Didn't Know I was Pregnant
My response:
WHATEV! Talk to the hand. You're either a liar or an idiot.

If the "victims" on the show can honestly answer my following questions, then fine.
I'll believe them.

1- Did you not think it was odd that you dry-heaved every time you smelled ketchup or canned green beans for 3 months?

2- Wasn't it a bit odd that you cried at the gym on the elliptical while watching the soldier surprise his child at school on CNN?
3- Speaking of crying, weren't you surprised when you cried ALL NIGHT LONG after watching Marley & Me?

4- Wasn't it strange when your already born child got so bored of watching Curious George & SuperWhy that she got up off the couch , turned off the tv, and said, "Outside, please?"

And your response from the other end of the couch was,
"More George. Mommy's sleeping."
Wasn't that a bit out of the ordinary?

5- Didn't you wonder what was happening when you thought you looked svelt in your skinny jeans on Thursday, & then when you put them on on Friday, they wouldn't button?

6- Isn't it fascinating that your eyes tear up when you hear the dryer stop....b/c you know that means you have to actually move your body to fold & put away clothes?

7- Didn't your husband start to wonder why you were calling in a low, dry-heaving voice every evening around 5pm to see when he was coming home?

8- Didn't you all of a sudden observe that you stopped cooking.
Cold turkey. Just one day the cooking stopped.

In fact, the thought of even entering the kitchen....did that really not ever repulse you?

9- Wasn't it out of character for you to leap up off the couch & scream at the Harley rider down the street for revving his engine while you were trying to nap?

10- Do words & people's names usually escape you in normal life? If not, wasn't that cause for worry when you couldn't for the life of you remember a really good friend's last name until you woke up the next morning?

Not that I've experienced any of these things, but...
Really? For reals?
None of these things ever happened to you?

I just find it extremely hard to believe that someone's hormones can fluctuate at a speed faster than that of traveling light, & not be aware.


whitethunder said...

I just don't get how any parent can overdose their kid on George after that pinata I once saw of the poor little monkey.

I wish your husband posted about your pregnancy, I think he may have a different view of things. But you are doing well I would never, NEVER believe this stuff if it didn't come from such a creditable source.

Matt and Jessie said...

I don't know what some people did to get out of the CRAZY symptoms of pregnancy, but they will never ever know how lucky they are!! I hope that it will pass quickly and you will soon find yourself in the 2nd trimester feeling great part of pregnancy!! Hopefully they come out with a few new episodes of George to keep little Avy's attention at least for a few more weeks! Hang in there. : )

Alie said...

SERIOUSLY. That show is crazy- and those ladies are crazy. Hopefully this stage will pass!!!!

Cass said...

I have watched that and it is completely insane. I also watched it pregnant and my jaw was dropped the entire time. As for you, good luck! Although pregnancy is beautiful it sure does a number on ya.

Ashley said...

I am glad that I am not the only one who turns the chillins loose (I mean, babysat attentively by George or SuperWhy) while trying to get some shut eye. I am the opposite of those crazy ladies. I always suspect I'm pregant (bc I'm majorly tired, hungry, and crabby) but then it turns out that's just me. I don't know whether to be disappointed or relieved. You don't show any of your tiredness/pukiness--at least not to me! You are still a ray of bubbly sunshine!

Kristine Gray said...

So, if all 10 of those things describe to me but I'm NOT pregnant, am I just lazy and emotional?

That show cracks me up!
A friend of a friend was interviewed to possibly be on the show. She started having contractions at girl's camp and the bishop had to drive her to the hospital thinking it was her appendix. Surprise!

The Mostess said...

K--I saw that program, too. The one girl had a compelling argument (told she would never have kids at 19, laid off and eating tons so she was depressed and getting chubby, etc) The only dead giveaway was when she said she thought "a little alien" was inside, but chalked it up to "gas."

Ummm...so, you believe in aliens...but not that you're preggo. Go figure.

Canned green beans always make me wanna hork, BTW.

Tara said...

So glad that your post sounds EXACTLY like my house in the first trimester months. My two favorites were: kids voluntarily turning off the TV, and the dry heaving 5:00 phone call--I can so so relate! CONGRATS!!! We are so excited for you! I think you are going to find that two are infinitely better than one. (and I hope in a few weeks I am saying that about 3!)

McDonalds said...

Congratulations on wining the mother of the year award!!! I do have to say I am excited for your family...because at least for me being a mother is by far the best decision I have ever made. I don't really think anyone will care if you complain about being pregnant or not via your blog, because well, every pregnancy like every child is different, and sometimes being pregnant just sucks. You have to vent to your friends. Though I have to admit that I have never watched the show on TLC (we don't cable or bunny ears or a converter box), I have to admit that at least with my first pregnancy I had no idea I was preggo until I was about 4 months along. It was definitely not the plan and I have never been able to depend on a monthly (bimonthly, trimonthly or even quarterly) cycle (TMI I know) and I just thought that I was stressed and tired due to graduate school. Maybe I am one of those stupid women who should be featured on the TLC program, but maybe my pregnancy hormones just made me oblivious to the fact that I was preggo. Just a though. Good luck feeling better and more energy. I have given up on such endeavors, but I only have a month or less to go.

The Atwood's said...

Yah, seriously, they have to be idiots! Especially considering most of the people on that show are having unprotected sex with every Joe in the neighborhood. Who-da-thunk they wooda got prego?

Lucky 7s said...

You make me laugh! Congrats on your exciting news!!