First & foremost, thanks to all the well-wishers out there!
I really appreciate your congratulations. Yes, it's exciting.
So I don't want to be the lady that whines for 9 months about harvesting
a human inside my uterus.
That's just not me.
In fact, I really enjoy pregnancy.
But in the throes of barf-hood, I have a few words to say.
Ever watch TLC?
Well there's this show called
I Didn't Know I was Pregnant
WHATEV! Talk to the hand. You're either a liar or an idiot.
If the "victims" on the show can honestly answer my following questions, then fine.
I'll believe them.
1- Did you not think it was odd that you dry-heaved every time you smelled ketchup or canned green beans for 3 months?
2- Wasn't it a bit odd that you cried at the gym on the elliptical while watching the soldier surprise his child at school on CNN?3- Speaking of crying, weren't you surprised when you cried ALL NIGHT LONG after watching Marley & Me?
4- Wasn't it strange when your already born child got so bored of watching Curious George & SuperWhy that she got up off the couch , turned off the tv, and said, "Outside, please?"
And your response from the other end of the couch was,
"More George. Mommy's sleeping."
Wasn't that a bit out of the ordinary?
5- Didn't you wonder what was happening when you thought you looked svelt in your skinny jeans on Thursday, & then when you put them on on Friday, they wouldn't button?
6- Isn't it fascinating that your eyes tear up when you hear the dryer stop....b/c you know that means you have to actually move your body to fold & put away clothes?
7- Didn't your husband start to wonder why you were calling in a low, dry-heaving voice every evening around 5pm to see when he was coming home?
8- Didn't you all of a sudden observe that you stopped cooking.
Cold turkey. Just one day the cooking stopped.
In fact, the thought of even entering the kitchen....did that really not ever repulse you?
9- Wasn't it out of character for you to leap up off the couch & scream at the Harley rider down the street for revving his engine while you were trying to nap?
10- Do words & people's names usually escape you in normal life? If not, wasn't that cause for worry when you couldn't for the life of you remember a really good friend's last name until you woke up the next morning?
Not that I've experienced any of these things, but...
Really? For reals?
None of these things ever happened to you?
I just find it extremely hard to believe that someone's hormones can fluctuate at a speed faster than that of traveling light, & not be aware.