Answers....but beware....it's a long one.

First Day of Preschool

This will come as a shock to many of you, but she LOVES it!

She has not puked.

(yes, puking is common for her when she's nervous...ahem, Tiffany, Ashley, & Maureen?)

She has not passed out.

 (yes, she's done this a couple times before too & THANK HEAVENS this is a thing of the past.)

She has not cried.

(this is, excuse me, WAS, a precursor for the vomit and/or fainting)

She has not even requested I stay.

She says goodbye, squirts her mits with magic soap, finds her name tag, then skips over to the train table.

It's fabulous.

Truly, truly, this is an answer to prayers.

We were worried people. We were worried.

My Birthday

I'm 28. It's so great.

What did I do to celebrate?

Tatty took me on a super hot date.

We ate some grub. Not the best, but didn't hate.

We lounged on the beach in Wailea until really, really late.

Oh yes, there is a gift from my dashingly handsome mate.

He is taking me to London in the Spring to visit my dear Heather...

I can't WAIT!

 The Long Awaited Pirate Party

Where do I even begin?

How can one sum up a party that's been in the making for a year in the mind of a toddler?

It was awesome.

She loved it.

I loved it.

Tat & Buddy loved it.

And based on the handfuls of candy & cupcakes & cake & other treats that were devoured, I assume the guests loved it too.

Here are the stats:

guests: 29 children + parentals

 (go big or go home, that's what i always say)

activites: bouncy house, pirate show with real live pirates, treasure hunt led by the real live pirates, pinata, digging for buried treasure in the sand

(ps- i told avy there was a pirate bouncy, but for whatever odd, un-themed, tacky reason she really wanted dora)

booty at the end of the treasure hunt (after they walked the plank, of course): bags with pirate booty looty (paddle balls, pencil toppers, coins, other cheap crap that's already broken and in all of your garbage cans).

eats: let the pics speak

X-shaped biscuits

Bucaneer Bouquet

cake: treasure map cake

decorations: booty hanging from the tree, pirate banners & flags, lanterns, Captain Avy's Island signage

clean-up crew: Kristen was so awesome to stay & head up this committee

Cute little Emi pretty much sums up how I felt by the end of the day:

By the end of the party, she ditched her pirate rags & dolled up in her new fashionista wears.

Yesterday she informed me she would like a Princess Party for next year.

We already did princess last year, so feel free to throw some other great, normal, suggestions her way.

FOR ALL PIRATE PARTY PICS CLICK HERE

My Stolen iPod

GRRRR!

You've messed up my running routine!

I stole all my songs from Heather's computer & she is now in London.

So even in the rare event I get Tat to deliver another iPod, I have no music.

I notice my route is considerably shorter now that I have no Beiber, Cyrus, & Efron to get my adrenaline flowing.

So if I get fat, I'm coming after you.

If only I knew who you were.

Here's what happened:

I went for my morning run with the tots in the stroller.

I get back home, push the stroller to the backyard, set my iPod on top of the stroller.

I go about my morning...breakfast, shower, baby nap, daily check to facebook to see who could possibly have a more interesting life than me that particular day, then we leave to run some errands.

Upon my return I notice something strange.

My front lawn has been aerated.

Weird. I have no idea who did this.

There was also fertilizer all over the grass.

Later in the day we go out back & I notice the backyard has been messed with too!

I then move my stroller out of the way, & notice my music maker is not where I left it.

That leads me to believe there is only 1 culprit...

the mystery aerator.

Hawaii

In sum...Maui was, as expected, a dream.

I  can't imagine a more perfect vacation for our family.

The kids had a blast.

We ate lots of tasty treats.

Brookie was as helpful & fun as usual.

Minus the nightly work calls to India & the gall bladder issue, Tatty thouroughly enjoyed himself too.

I got a massage.  It was from the Maui Therapeutic School of Massage.

It was $30 for A WHOLE HOUR!

We did lots of fun activities.

Brookie & I ran this beautiful path just after dawn in the mornings.  It was perfect.

Ahhhhh...already dreaming of going back.

FOR ALL HAWAII PICS CLICK HERE

Mostly for the Grandparents

(WARNING...this is a lot of detail about how cute I think my kids are so really, you have 2 options.

1-skip over this part so as to not confuse me with SeriouslySoBlessed blog

2-read it & agree with me that my kids really are as cute as i think they are)

Grandparents,

Your 2 little gingersnaps are pretty much the cutest little babes around.

Buddy:

Climbs like you wouldn't believe.

I've caught him on top of coffee tables, on top of step stools, in the fridge, half-way up the front of the slide, dangling upside-down by his hips from the bar under his high chair in maui...& numerous other objects he believes he can scale.

He's figured out how to open the cupboard door & sift through the garbage can.

He knows that's on the no-no list, so, like everything else he knows is a no-no, he will get my attention, laugh, crawl at an incredibly fast pace to the no-no site & then proceed to look my IN THE EYES while blatantly disobeying me!  He will also throw a few chuckles in there.

Definitely gets that defiant gene from Tat.

Loves to clap his hands. 

Loves to sing & dance to Miley's "Party in the USA".

Loves to point to the baby on the Gerber baby food jars & say, "baba".

REALLY loves his "dadadada".

In sacrament mtg a couple weeks ago he was busy wiggling around & then all of a sudden he looked up towards the stand, saw Tyler sitting up there, sits up straight with a huge smile, waved "hi" to Tat & just yelled with such excitement, "DaDaDaDa!"  It was precious.

Lately he will give me a "Mama" but mostly it's all about Dad.

Has been shaking his head "yes" to me lately when I ask him if he wants a snack.

He loves "Big Pup".  His big fluffy doggy.  When we say, "Where's Big Pup?" he immediately starts to make his version of a bark & then he looks around frantically, while barking, until he can spot Big Pup. 

 So cute.

Will eat any speck of a crumb off the floor & often waits for Avy to leave behind her drinks so he can do this:

Avycakes:

Has always been a talker, but lately she will talk for minutes, & minutes, & minutes &.  NOT. STOP.

The best part is she uses this valley girl accent & interjects "like" in between every few words.

It's pretty funny.

She's really been growing out of her shyness lately. 

She thinks she has a baby sister on the way

WHICH IS NOT TRUTH

just in case she mentions it to any of you.

Lately she keeps saying things like,

"We need to buy this for my baby sister"

or

"I can't wait for my baby sister to be here."

Before preschool started, she said, "Mom, I'm gonna get me some boyfriends at preschool."

She spotted a Blue's Clues costume at Kid to Kid the other day & HAD to have it.

I don't always give in, I promise.  But she does love BC & I'm getting sick of seeing Fifi the French poodle at my house every day since last Halloween.  So we bought it. 

It's 2 sizes too small for her, but that somehow doesn't seem to bother her.

  She loves it & is pretty cute in it...well at least the part that fits her.

My Spray Tan

Last year when we went to Maui I was the whitest one on the island.

I promised myself that would NEVER happen again.

White Hayley in Maui 2009

I know I'm white.  Whiter than most.

Usually I don't care, but when I'm in a swimsuit & someone who is 200 pounds heavier than me looks better than me b/c brown fat is more attractive than pasty pale fat, I see it necessary to take action.

So when Groupon was offering 3 tanning sessions at Hollywood tans for $25, you can imagine how quickly I jumped on that one.

My friend HT came over to watch my kids a couple days before we left for Maui.

I excitedly drove to the salon, dreaming of how ridiculously hot I was going to look in only a few short hours.

I hop in the time machine.

I get started then all of a sudden feel super claustraphobic, can't breathe, feel as if I'm going to pass out, so I lean forward, put my hands up on the wall to brace myself, & get a fabulous shot of bronze on my face from only 2 inches away.

Being a first time tanner, I didn't think anything of it...I just didn't want to pass out naked while locked in a tube.

Anywho, I come home & Heather gracisouly tells me that I'm lookin good.

Which at this point, I was. 

The brown was just starting to set in & I had a smashing glow.

Later that evening I looked in the mirror & was horrified at how orange my face was. 

It was something to the extent of this:

I looked awful. 

(maybe not this bad...but pretty grody) 

I think I exfoliated the top 2 layers of skin off my face right after that.

Later that night Heather came back over & noticed the streaks all over my elbows.  Nice.  Half my arm got brown, the other half did not thanks to my leaning against the wall whilst spray was in action.

And guess what?

By the time I made it to the beach, the half of my body that was hot & bronze had lost it's savor & was back to whitey-mcwhite.

White Hayley in Maui 2010

Notice how the only differences in the picture are:

1-avy is taller & has longer hair

2-i popped out another kid

3-my headband is black instead of white

No difference in my skin color.

I Must Stink

I've had 3 close friends move away in the past few months.

-insert sad face here-

I don't have too much to say about this b/c I don't want to be a buzzkill, but I just really, REALLY don't like this one bit.

I can't imagine that New Jersey, North Carolina, or London could possibly be any more exciting than California.

Okay, maybe London.

COME BACK! 

PLEASE!

ALL OF YOU!

Lindsey

Sarah

Heather

See how much fun my friends are? 

 See why I need them back here stat?!?!

Tatty's Hospital Visit

Well, well, well.

What to do with Tatwood.

Shall we remove his gall bladder?

No. Let's not.

Let's leave it there & allow him to keep having horrible attacks that keep him up all night & land him a front row seat in the ER the night before the big Pirate Bash.

GRRRR.

I feel bad, I really do because I don't want him to be in pain.

BUT...

When I have a lengthy to-do list the night before the party & I suggest he NOT eat the greasy pizza I grabbed for dinner

& he DOES eat it

then I'm not so sweet.

Thank goodness these 2 hooligans were here to hold down the fort & finish all the last minute par-tay prep.

But really, I did feel bad for the guy.  He was a pale/green color, sweating like a hog, & asked for Tylenol. 

 I knew it was bad.

So I ran him up to the ER at 10:30 at night.

It was a busy night there.

He ended up being released & coming home around 4am.

The docs said he would probably eventually need the thing removed, but not now.  He just needs to cut bad fats out of his diet & take some pills for the month to help whatever is inflamed.

That was 4am.

Kids woke up at 7am.

The party was at 2pm.

There you go!

Everything you ever wanted to know about my whereabouts the past 4 weeks.

But don't go too far, I've still got Spud Day, my 10 year reunion, & Avy's real birthday to post about.

You know you won't want to miss this!



SLEEP

Give me a few good hours of it & then I'll post everything you ever wanted to know about the tantalizing likes of topics such as:

First Day of Preschool

-did she puke?  pass out?  wave goodbye without a care?

My Birthday

-how old am I?  how did I celebrate?  was there a gift involved?

The long-awaited Pirate Party

-what did we eat?  what was the entertainment?  was Avy pleased?  do I have the coolest siblings EVER?

My Stolen iPod
-who dun it?  no...really, show yourself.  seriously.  who took my iPod?

Hawaii

-what were the highlights?  did I get a massage?  did Tat accidentally order an alcoholic bevvie this time?

Mostly for the Grandparents

-what are the latest & greatest tricks of the tatwood babies? does buddy refuse to sit in a shopping cart anymore?  does Avy patrol the preschool playground looking for toddler hotties?

My Spray Tan

-did I look hot?  did I freak out in the booth & stick my face in front of the sprayer?  did my culturally-aware daughter Avy tell me, "Mom, it's okay when people have different colors of skin"???

I must stink

-why do my friends keep moving? 

Tatty's Hospital Visit

-it may or may not have been until 4am the night before, er, morning of, the Pirate Party?  why was he there?  was his wife sympathetic? 

Trust me folks...you'll be wanting to tune back in pretty soon.

But until then,

I'm going to sleep.

XO,

hayley

Maybe I'm a moron.

*For the record, I generally abstain from stories about my kids' bowel habits.  No one cares, I know.  But for today I'm breaking my own rule.  I'm not offended if you don't care.*

I used to think that any parent whose child ate their own poop was a moron. 

When I'd hear these sorts of stories, I'd put on my best acting face, tilt my head, nod sympathetically...

but really what I was thinking was:

Are you stupid?

Have you no control over your child?

Poops come out one end, the mouth is at the other. 

How could you not have prevented that?

I'm ashamed to say this beautiful being is a poop-eater:

Which makes this crazy lady a moron:

The kid has serious twisty-bendy-roll-aroundy skillz when it comes to diaper changing.

Here's the play by play:

1- I smelled something needing attention

2- I lay him on the floor, assuming the position of a diaper change

3- Remove said diaper

4- As with every other diaper change, Buddy's hand immediately heads down south to make sure all boy goods are still in tact

This is where all of my control is relenquished

5- With my cat-like reflexes and speed I grab his hand so fast to wipe it off

6- He freaks & shoves his heel into the open diaper

7- I grab another wipe to quickly cleanse the left heel, but his heel is too fast & smears goodness all over my pants

8- Then repeat step 7 with right heel, but this time it went all over the carpet (chill out tatty, I cleaned it up appropriately)

9- By now he has 2 hands checking in on his manhood & left hand goes right up to his face...& you can imagine the rest.

I really, really tried to not let that happen.

I apologize to anyone who ever told me their story while I silently gave you the "Bad Parent Award" in my head.

A is for applesauce.

What a fab summer it's been.  But we'll post about that later. 

This post is about how much I love Fall time.

I was bit by the bug a couple days ago when my neighbor gave me a ton of apples & told me to make some applesauce.

The smell of cooked apples is Heaven.

  And then throw a little sugar & cinnamon in the air & I can die happy.

Never made applesauce?

It's as easy as this:

1- wash & cut apples into quarters

2- throw them in boiling water for a few minutes until softy-soft

3- drain them then mash them as you'd like

(my neighbor gave me this old colander thingy to mush the apples with, but i've read that a masher works just as well)

4- toss in some sugar & cinnamon

5- hire Buddy for clean-up duty

Here's to Autumn!

A first time for everything...

Many firsts for the Atwoodians this past week.

Avy:

Attended her first rock concert.

True dat...you heard me right.

(Well, technically I guess her first celeb sightings would go to the several Bob the Builder shows she saw at Gilroy Gardens in the month of July.)

The Wiggles were in town, folks. 

 & once again, my awesome friend Crystal who always hooks me up pulled through when she called me & asked me how many free tickets I wanted.

For those who aren't aware, Avy has a strange, yet endearing, obsession for Captain Feathersword from the Aussie gang & often won't answer me when I call her "Avy".

"Mom, remember my name?  It's Captain Feathersword.  How did you forget that?"

And many times when she has a friend coming over, she makes me introduce her to her friend as Captain Feathersword.  When the doorbell rings, I undoubtedly hear, "Mommy, remember to tell (fill in friend's name) that I'm Captain Feathersword.

She's even so obsessed that she's been planning her Pirate Birthday party for the past 10 months.

Needless to say, we had one very, VERY happy girl Saturday.

& I'm not ashamed to admit that a little, "Hey there Shaky, Shaky" gets me up & groovin every time.

Also, for the first time, she got to eat all the pink jelly beans she could handle.

She always asks for just the pink, but alas, the box is assorted.

However, we took a trip up to the Jelly Belly Factory yesterday & she was in Heaven.

Jelly Bean Heaven.

Buddy:

Sprouted his first tooth...

& a cute little dagger it is.

Has decided that crawling is the way of the future.

He will occasionally still do the army crawl, but he can shake those little crawling buns quicker than lightening when he chooses to.

& he has discovered that standing in his crib is WAY more fun than sleeping.

Fully expecting him to be asleep this morning, I quietly tip-toed into the room to grab something only to find this inquisitive little meerkat:

Tat:

Also attended his first rock concert.

The Wiggles.

Wait, no.  I dragged him to the American Idol concert with me a couple years ago so I guess that was his first.

Actually, hold on... he did drive the Doobie Brothers around San Francisco years ago for some strange reason that I still can't figure out.

So...I guess The Wiggles wasn't a first star sighting for him either.

So maybe he's not a music man.

But that's okay.

I fully knew that going into the relationship when we were dating and I saw his CD collection:

The Dances with Wolves Soundtrack & Enya.

Oh yeah, & his Jeep Owner's Manual was on CD too, if that counts.

Also, he pet a wild fox for the first time.

Hold on, much to his chagrin, he didn't quite succeed.

(& I guess that was technically a week & a half ago)

But still.

We went camping with some friends & at night a family of foxes very boldly came to visit our site.

Tyler declared, "I will pet one of those guys before the night is over."

Weird.

Regardless, it was a great time in the beautiful Santa Cruz mountains.

Moi:

Stayed awake for an entire movie, which is something I haven't done in a REALLY long time.

I'm a tough critic.  It takes a lot to captivate me.

I dare say Inception was the best movie I've seen since What About Bob.

I'll go see it again if anyone needs a buddy.

Crazy.

Also, I was a working woman for the first time since having kids.

I used to direct elementary age plays at a private school before Avy was born & haven't done it since.

I was asked to do it for 1 class for summer school in the month of July, & since awesome sister Brookie was planning to be here for a couple months, it worked out perfectly for her to play with my tots in the morning while I taught.

The performance was Friday & my class did awesome!

I was very pleased.

More importantly, my kids LOVED spending time with Auntie B.

Today, when Linc was crying, Avy informed me,

"He just wants Auntie Brookie instead, Mom."

Can't blame him.  She's pretty cute.

Yay for a fun week of firsts!