need a good laugh?

I came across this HILARIOUS book our good friends, Sarah & Brian, gave us before Avy was born. I'm fully convinced they sought it out and gave it to "us" (however possibly meant more for Tyler) based on some of our conversations we had all had about Tyler's child-rearing theories.

Anywho, I found it in the bookshelf last night and was laughing out loud.

Thought I'd provide you with a good ab work-out right before Fat Thursday...I mean, Thanksgiving.

Enjoy!

Fortunately for all involved, Tyler never did try to nurse Avy.

Am I a bad Mom?

Sure my beauty is gnawing on a stick of butter, but at least it's pure organic butter. That's gotta count for something......right?

"I'm bringin sexy back...........yeah"

Dear J.T. (that's Justin Timberlake for the N'SYNC-challenged out there),

You ain't got nothin' on these foxy little fluffy legs. Eat your heart out.

Sincerely,

Baby A.

confessions from one blogger to another.

As an inhabitant of the blogging world, I have noticed and heard of this interesting phenomenon called "her life & her blog are so much more fabulous than mine." This is a condition where one blogger believes that her life is less interesting than other bloggers-es.

Tisk, tisk.

So...naturally, I thought, "I should do a post packed with my quirks." You, my faithful readers, generally only get to hear about our fun outings, holidays, parties, and other on-goings of the Atwood group.

Here's to Hayley's confessions.

1- I cleaned my microwave today for the first time in MONTHS.

2- I NEVER wash my face before I go to bed.

3- I feed my daughter more dairy than veggies.

4- I don't buy soap (zest, dove, ivory,lever...etc.) In my efforts to be cheap-ola, my family uses hotel samples we save. Except of course Her Majesty, Avy. She gets the good stuff (Aveeno, Burt's Bees...etc). Heaven forbid she grows a 3rd arm before adult-hood thanks to all the parabens found in the other junk. Her beauty regime is WAY more expensive than mine, which leads us to #5...

5- My beauty regime consists of the cheapest stuff on the shelves at Target.

6- I've watched "My Big Redneck Wedding".........................3 times. My justification - when they're REAL rednecks, it is SHEER ENTERTAINMENT at its best.

7- I'm too cheap (I'm noticing a trend here) to pay to get my hair cut. After I do my hair in the morning I chop off any locks that aren't working that day. It's meant to be a threat to the other hairs.

8- At any given moment of the afternoon, you could likely find Cheerios or CinnaBunnies strewn about my floor.

9- I always graciously keep the address labels the sweet people at St. Jude & the Familes of the Disabled Firefighters of America send me, but never send them money in return.

10- Although I demand an orderly house, my bedroom closet is a nightmare. 9 out of 10 times something falls on my head whenever I open the doors. In fact, I've learned to squat and pose in the ready to catch position before I fling the doors open.

11- This little baby was completely full last week when my friend asked me to babysit it b/c her fridge was broken.

This is what it looked like last night.

You do the math.


Can you beat any of those?

Is October over?

What a wonderful season.

Colorful leaves. Brisk chill in the air some days...then sweltering-face-melting heat on other days. Hot chocolate. Rain. Scary parties. Face paint. Costumes, costumes, & more costumes. Avy's trick-or-treating bag filled with candy that Daddy Tat & I are currently munching on. Kid-friendly parties. Election time. Pumpkin patch adventures. Lemo's Farm with good friends. Bags of candy corn (also currently being munched on). Trick-or-treating with good friends. Church parties. Pretty sweaters & sexy mama boots. Frumpy sweatshirts and fuzzy slippers. Prop 8 canvasing & calling. Glass Halloween decorations that Avy wants to touch hundreds of times a day, but whining seems to subside every time I robotically say, "The ghost just says 'BOO' to us...we don't play with him." Planning a 4 course "Mystery" dinner & evening for 150 youth in our Stake. Scoring some TOTALLY sweet seasonal shopping deals. Replacing our Prop 8 signs after 1 was stolen & 1 was shredded then thrown on my lawn (niiiiice---said with much sarcasm). Avy plopping down her tooshy in every driveway after trick-or-treating to see what mystical surprise was just alloted to her & her pumpkin bag. Uncle Austy's birthday. Mulitple riveting discussions on Obama vs. McCain. Crunching leaves under Avy's feet. Avy's cute pumpkin hat she LOVES to sport.

This October has been a BUSY one, yet so much fun. Seriously, how blessed am I to have such wonderful family and friends?

Never a dull moment around here...which I am truly grateful for.

Enjoy SEVERAL recent pics from Team Atwood.

Watch out November, here we come.

Random Thoughts of Hayley...

So I had 2 topics on my mind all day yesterday. I shall share.

#1: Crude Oil might not be so crude after all

Let's all give a big Hip-Hip-Hooray for the decrease in gasoline this past week...holla!

I was able to fill up my beast machine, & I mean completely fill up, for less than $90! It's crazy that I was so ecstatic about this all day, in fact it's a little strange, but seriously, when I heard the pump go "click" signaling the completion of fill-up, and I looked at the damage on the gritty little pump screen, I did a secret smile. And then smiled all day after that.

#2: Decision 12...you read that right...not Decision 08, but Decision 12

Since I have way too many things on my plate this next week, I hate to disappoint, but I will not be in the running for the White House. However, when the time for Decision 12 rolls around, you may start seeing my flashy smile on your tv screen. Why, you may ask?

Answer: Someone needs to push for a law against TOUPEES! Forget the economic crisis, forget the war, forget education...let's get down to business.

I have awkwardly and oddly enough seen WAY TOO MANY bad toupees around town this past week. What is the deal? Not that a toupee can be a "good" one, but the ones I've encountered are bad news bears. Hmmm...so maybe I don't need to be focusing on Capitol Hill area, maybe it's just a Santa Clara issue???

This is pretty much the style I've seen sportin around town...and TWICE, mind you.

Where are their wives, children, co-workers...anyone who can be brutally honest to these men?

skirt-lovers of the universe...unite.

Okay, so that was a lame title, but I got your attention, right?

Let me tell you the story of me finding a smokin' bargain.

It all started when I took Avykins to the Halloween sing-along at PBK a few days ago. What a grand time we had.

Then we ate lunch. It was a lovely bonding moment for the 2 of us.

Then we walked through Old Navy to get out to the parking lot.

That's when it all happened.

My life was suddenly changed for the better...forever.

I was cruising through the store and low and behold what do my eyes wander upon? Why, it was a $2 clearance rack. Anyone who's anyone knows that I am a magnet for a deal. So of course I stop to cruise the rack.

My eyes about popped out of my head as they fixed themselves upon the ever famous knit-cotton Old Navy skirt we all love and admire. It's great for fat days...it stretches; it's great for skinny days...it retracts; it's extremely great for pregnant days ...again, it stretches, and it has a fold-able band that a pregnant being can propel over the baby bump or under, take your pick.

So I think to myself, "Self, you should really load up on these babies. Get one in each color for heaven's sake...they're only $2!"

So as Avy stares on in wonderment at her possessed mother, I load my stroller with the knit wonders and then the even bestest part of the adventure occurred:

A cute pregnant lady with eyes all a-glow whispers in my ear,

"I just heard they're only 99 CENTS!"

Hoo-dilly! So I walked out of my Halloween sing-a-long adventure with 13 skirts, baby.

That's right, 13 skirts!

And what prey-tell damage did that do to Tat's pocket book you are wondering? The rightful amount of $13.24.

And what prey-tell will Hayley do with 13 skirts you are wondering? Sisters, friends, foe, don't be surprised when you unwrap a gift from yours truly and it happens to be a bouncy, flouncy Old Navy skirt :)

Can I get an AMEN for a smokin' deal. Thank you.

Point of this diatribe...Get over to your local Old Navy PRONTO!!! I've warned you about steals in the past and you DO NOT want to pass this one up.

Bay Area ladies, or men if skirts are your thing, I got these at the O.N. at Valley Fair.

HAPPY SHOPPING!

All In A Day's Work

When Avy woke up yesterday morning, first thing first, she made herself a "To Do List."

These are the items she jotted down...and fully accomplished:

Avy's To Do List
1- poop in the tub...check
2- wipe my lasagna-saturated hands all over the bathroom wall...check
3- wipe my lasagna-saturated hands all over Mom's shorts & the back of her shirt...check
4- fall off the porch step & onto the concrete sidewalk...check
5- whine, fuss, & scream the whole time Mom takes me on a 4.5 mile hike...check
6- squish Nutri-Grain bar in my hand, wipe my hands on my bum, then sit down in the dirt, thus leaving a lovely macrame of dirt-art on my caboose...check, check, check
7- show utter disgust when Mom offers me a new type of juice, and then boycott libations of any kind the rest of the day...check, check
8- insist on wearing my new pumpkin hat and fairy wings all morning...check... and continue to insist on wearing the hot, knitted pumpkin hat on our 150-ish degree hike...check

If only I could check off as many items on my "TO DO" list as this One Woman Wonder.

Proposition 8 in plain English

Now that election day is nearing, I'm really getting fired up about this Prop 8 stuff.

Not to mention, my "Yes on Prop 8" sign was kindly "STOLEN" from my lawn. I'm sure it was snatched by a loving fellow Prop 8 supporter who just REALLY, REALLY wanted one of their own. I can sleep at night knowing that I did them a kind deed by letting them borrow my sign.

Dear whomever you are...feel free to keep it. I have lots more...and they will continue to surface on my lawn for your borrowing pleasure as long as you'd like.

This video is an excellent resource for understanding the basics of what's going on in California. It was put together by a man in our stake. Enjoy!

Here's The Video

Wow, 2 thumbs up for me figuring out how to put a video on my blog!

I'm not as computer illiterate as I always assumed I was. Go Me!

The explanation is in the previous post.

Enjoy!